I am not sure how many parts this review will be, just so you know. I am writing whenever I have the chance, and whenever something pops into my head about it.
So, Bella has met the Cullens. She is enthralled by their beauty and grace, and naturally, gravitates toward them. Soon, the human race itself becomes a drag for her. She wraps her life around Edward in particular, which first stems from his initial terse reaction to her. Edward is a vampire, of course, and vampires like blood 
Edward is immediately attracted to Bella, not only for her blood, but for her physical person as well. This is an interesting dilemma, of course. Bella is just a human, and thinks that his avoidance of her is brought on by arrogance and pride. Aw, give the Vamp some slack, Bella The secret is soon out, as Edward pushes himself to restrain from sucking her blood. He begins to master himself. The Cullen family is unlike any other vampire family (or coven, as they are called). They have trained themselves to eat a diet of animal blood, instead of parasiting off humans. Friendly vampires. Bella just happened to be a little too delicious smelling, which threw poor Ed over the edge.
Anyway, here’s an interesting thought. Throughout the entire saga, Edward in particular, is building up his tolerance to Bella, as they grow closer and closer. His nature is to suck blood, and his particular temptation is Bella. How familiarly this touches on our own human and sinful nature, and how each of us is prone to certain sins and temptations. I will get to more of this later, as the saga review progresses.
Anyway, short and sweet tonight. I have a human husband I need to love 
Okay, its been a while since my last post. Where I left off, in 1st John, well, its not exactly where I am going to pick up again. I did finish reading that and I am not dropping it from discussion, just merely picking up another one.
So, you have seen the Twilight craze. The addiction to these novels and movies peaked my curiosity in the strangest way. No, I wasn’t craving human blood or Edward Cullen, and it was not that I had a burning desire to read the novels for the sake of vampires at all, really, but really, it was more of a ‘what is this all about’ sort of reaction. So, I reserved the first book at the library and tried not to over think what I was doing, or set my hopes too high or too low.
Wait a minute though. Before I even get into the books, let me just address something. The fact of the matter is that the vampire hype these books have created is nothing new under the sun. While some may look at Twihards super critically, I would suggest they look at ANYTHING that has created a kafuffle- think about the big celebrities, iconic sports teams, Harry Potter, Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus, etc, those are just the few that pop in my head I apologize that those are lame examples too). The truth is that the world craves a new thought, anything different from the ‘norm’. The world has a hungry appetite and Stephenie Meyer has successfully fed it a hearty course. The ironic thing is that there is nothing new about vampires. Vampires trace back to ancient Egypt, and Hollywood, of course made Dracula (Prince Vlad, an actual historical figure) famous. Who was this devastatingly handsome, and mysterious figure, and why were people (women in particular) so drawn to someone who could easily end their lives? Just a hypothetical question of course, and I am not going to spend time writing about the history of vampirism. But Stephenie Meyer has taken something that should be unapproachable and evil into something that can be good.
Face value, while Stephenie Meyer is a good writer, her writing isn’t quality. but that doesn’t seem to matter much these days. Her skill lies in vivid description. I have a friend who calls it her ‘crack’ addiction. The books were, admittedly, hard to put down, but not because she is a good writer. Its the content matter she has chosen.
Like I said earlier, Ms. Meyer has taken something that should be evil and disgusting, a vampire (defined as a preternatural being, commonly believed to be a reanimated corpse, that is said to suck the blood of sleeping persons at night). But that definition does not apply to ALL vampires, as we see in these books. Oh, now I get you. A vegetarian vampire. Suddenly, the world is not so dark, and the vampire is more like a hero than a fiend. But I digress . . .
Bella, our heroine, is a quiet and moody teenager, who chooses to live with her Dad. It is no coincidence that she has moved from one of the sunniest and warmest states to one of the dreariest and rainiest. It is no coincidence that this is a perfectly set-up situation – normal girl from broken home. The scene is set for something amazing to happen. Because something amazing has to happen, right? I mean, how boring to be a normal teenager. And Bella Swan thinks that. How boring life is, going to a mediocre (at best) highschool, and trying to fit in. And, (we will get to this later) how boring to be human.
And then she is struck by beautiful vampires. Everything disappears and the Cullen family comes into focus; Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice and, *hold your breath* Edward. Oh, beautiful Edward. The handsomest of them all. Meyer’s descriptions fit the Hollywood actor/actress mold to a tea. Gorgeous, with the perfect bod. Well, besides the fact that the Cullens have ‘liquid gold eyes’, ‘marble skin – very pale, and it sparkles in the sunlight’. Oh yeah, and they are vampires.
Sure sucks to be a human
I am starting a new post tonight on 1 John. I am going to go through, chapter by chapter, and just give some initial thoughts. I am doing this right now, in the refuge of my bedroom, the blinds are slightly opened to the late afternoon sunlight. We just had a beautiful rainstorm with thunder, and the streets and earth are wet and ready for new growth. I hope that these words and thoughts from 1 John touch your hearts the same, that you may grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 John begins so beautifully – ‘That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled – The Word of Life.’
Jesus Christ is the Word, and He is the Light. The awesome thing about going through the book of John in BSF right now is making these connections between the books of the Bible. Let us let Jesus define Himself for us, and let us not try to fit Him into our own ‘molds’ and presuppositions.
Verse two speaks about this Life being manifested, which, I would attribute to Jesus Christ, the Holy Son of God and Son of Man, coming down to become human to ultimately take upon Himself the sins of all mankind.
John talks about the fellowship that believers in Christ share. Oh what a privilege to take part in Christ! And through Christ, we are able to take part in the Father! And then, next verse, ‘and this was written that your joy may be full!’ Is your joy full from this knowledge? That through Jesus, you are redeemed, and chosen as one of His own? That you are forgiven? Now that is something to have GREAT joy over!
And now, in verse 5, the gear shifts to speak about who God is: ‘God is light, and in Him there is no darkness.’ Darkness is attributed to evil, and to sin. God is holy and pure. If you try to look at the sun, you will struggle, because the light is so bright. I picture God as a million billion trillion bajillion times brighter than that. He is HOLY. He is PURE. Not a thread, a pebble, or even a speck of sin is worthy to be in His presence. Again, let this make your mind wander again to how wonderful His grace is to us, to allow us, sinful people ‘filthy rags’, completely unworthy to have access into His presence.
Verses 6 and 8 address the hypocrisy of those who say that they are in the light and yet walk in darkness. You cannot be black and white; there is no neutral here. You are either for God or against Him. What do the decisions and choices that you have made lately say?
In between 6 and 8, 7 says that we have fellowship with one another and with God when we walk in the light. Consider the blood of Jesus Christ your ‘access card’ to the heavenly fellowship club He’s got you covered (sorry, that was sort of trite and cute, but you really are covered!)
Verse 9 deals with sin. Sin has got to be dealt with. We are covered by God’s grace, but we first must realize how filthy we are. That’s where confession comes in, ‘if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness’. Whoever is reading this, this is your comfort and assurance. Stop feeling hopeless about sin. If you confess in true faith, God has forgiven you, and you are released from sin and the guilt from it. Guilt is a primary way that Satan attacks us. Hold on to the knowledge of the saving grace of Jesus Christ!
Lastly, verse 10. Again, don’t say that you don’t have any sin. You do. You may consider sin something like committing murder, or adultery . . . think again buddy. Sin is down in our very cores. We were concieved into sin, ever since the fall of man. Its our curse. When Jesus died for our sin, He reversed it that we may be seen as a new person in Him. That doesn’t mean that we are sinless, it just means that we belong to Christ and our heart’s desire is to follow Him and put our sin to death.
There we go. Some initial thoughts to start this little study Have a lovely rest of your day.
I would encourage you to watch a sunrise sometime. Or, better yet, make it a daily habit. I know its early, and staying in your cozy, warm bed is what you would rather do, but, if you have time (like, maybe on the weekend) it is so worth getting up early for.
Brew yourself up some hot coffee and find a comfy place to watch it rise. It will inspire you. It will bless your day.
When I lived in Ca, I used to watch the sunrise on the beach sometimes. It was certainly chilly, but the colors, the peace, the grandeur or watching God paint the skies in such vibrancy!
This morning, I watched the sunrise from our east window, in the comfort of my cozy bed. I know, that’s sort of cheating, I guess But, it was what I needed to see this morning. My husband and I are working through a lot of things. Good things to work through. Every day, we are discovering more and more about eachother. You are always finding out more and more in this marriage thing. Its such a blessing too.
I consider all the blessings in my life while seeing the sunrise, I pray, I read my Bible, I take in the quiet. This is my quiet time before the baby wakes up for the day. Moms out there, you need some ‘you’ time; take advantage of every moment you have while your kids sleep. Yes, sleep yourself, but also refresh.
Ooop, baby is starting to wake up. More on this later. In the meantime, have you watched a sunrise lately?
I hate to admit this, but, if I didn’t I would be even more of a hypocrite.
Backsliding.
Well, what is it anyway? Picture yourself at the top of that trepidous mountain you just climbed. It took so long to get up there, but you stuck to it, patient to the finish, knowing that what you would accomplish when you got there would be . . . AMAZING. You get there. You delight in the glories all around you and then you rest a while. You go down – you aren’t paying attention, so you start to slip your way down again. You carelessly let go.
Spiritual negligence, for sure. I hit the high and then I tried to coast. *Coasting* is never enough, never good enough. Any of our efforts aren’t ever good enough for God when they are puffed with ourselves. We need some God filling in them.
I have been out of habit – prayer life, reading the Bible, trusting God, and the like have been taking back seat. And I easily blame it on the new situation of being a mom and not ‘having the time’. The problem is, I HAVE the time but I have been FAILING to use it. As a result, I am empty and broken and in full knowledge that I have put myself in this position.
So, back to square one. Help me up, Lord, for I have fallen into that miry pit. But, you have the power and the mercy to pull this pitiful soul out of the trash heap, and put a new song in her mouth. Amen. May I backslide no more.
I was going to post something about contentment, because that has been the current characteristic that I have been praying the most God would work in my impatient little heart. But, another thought popped into my brain and I wanted to start with that – loneliness.
Not that I am lonely right now, but I always seem to face mister lonely at some point in whatever place God has put me. When I was in college, I battled loneliness like it was my worst enemy. In fact, several times, I tried to beat it down in my own ways. Wrong ways, lets just say that much. When I did get married, my husband had to travel a lot with his job. Oh man, being a newlywed and being apart was a hard thing indeed. Loneliness hit yet again, and I tried to drown out that sad and familiar tune with writing and reading and a whole lot of moping.
It dawned on me, this past week, that I have been looking at and approaching loneliness in the wrong way, the world’s way. The world sees loneliness like its a horrible disease. It is something that one must get rid of, and you can do that in thus and such ways – online dating, hook-ups, alcohol, etc. Every one of these only acts as a crutch in the long-run, however, and a lonely people only ends up all the lonelier. The remedy is always Christ. The problem is always us, and how we look at things through our dirty lenses. Loneliness started in the garden of Eden. God created a man who needed a woman. He solved the ‘problem’ he created. And then man created a problem. A really big problem that would need perfect blood to fix.
When we feel lonely, we need to see this as just another way pointing to Christ. We seek relationships to fill the gap inside we feel. It is only natural to feel incomplete – we are on our own without God filling every crack and hole we have. Once we are filled with Him, we need to see ourselves as complete. This human ‘complete’ will still need, still struggle, still have pangs of loneliness. That is where we go back to the garden, where God blessed man with the gift of human relationship.
So, loneliness is not a mortal enemy. Let loneliness do what it is supposed to do, by letting the Holy Spirit draw you to Himself. Let Him then have every thought in your heart, every emotion that you feel, let it belong to Him. Let Him have your desires – the ones you have for relationships, for marriage, for fulfillment. Let Him deal completely with these things. He has the answers to the problems. Let the forlorn tune of loneliness fade to the joyous melody of Christ.
I recently took a weekend trip to Dallas with my mom for a conference. Before I left, I decided to put a picture of me in a frame for my husband’s bedside table. The only one that I could find was a picture someone snapped from our wedding in 2005.
As I slipped it into the iridescent stained glass frame my grandmother had made, I was struck by something. Seeing myself all in white, looking more radiant than I could ever remember. It struck me. The purity of that day, that moment, when I walked down the aisle to my love, in the arm of my step-father.
This is the purity I desire every day of my life. Its 3 + years from that special day now, and I am ashamed that I have too often let my thoughts and actions go to filthy sin. But the beauty of this is the transforming power of Jesus to cleanse us from sin, and to make us white again. We, as His people, are seen as His holy bride. We fail Him, but He never fails us. We run away, but He hounds us down. This is the most beautiful picture of redemption we can ever see. And its not just a picture, its a reality.
Fear plagues me. What is it about being able to believe something that you can touch, taste, hear or feel? Do these things all point to having a greater assurance of something over just believing, period? (Did that make sense?) Basically put – Belief by sight versus belief by faith.
So here’s my most recent fear. And, as I sit here typing this, it seems quite ironic and ungrounded. But when you cultivate unhealthy levels of fear, this is only to be expected.
Pregnancy hasn’t been a piece of cake so far. I mean, I am so thankful that everything has gone well and its been a healthy one so far. But I have had a lot of fear of the unknown, of all the things that could go wrong. These concerns are ungrounded though. The baby (and its a ‘she’) is growing just fine, and she is now strong enough to kick her mommy so that her mommy can feel it. And while I believe that I should never take a little kick for granted, I have been foolishly hanging on to these ‘felt assurances’ as the only way I can tell that this little life inside of me is still alive.
There is nothing wrong with me counting her kicks or getting worried if she’s been quiet. Its all part of being aware in the pregnancy, and as I become more and more aware of my body and the baby, the more easily I will be able to tell if something is wrong.
As I type this, Phyra Grace is kicking, and I am reminded that God is completely sovereign and in control of everything I love and hold most dear to me. My fretting is not going to help anything. Why should I need to worry about the miracle of life that GOD put inside, that GOD is knitting together, in His perfect design and according to His perfect plan? I NEED NOT WORRY! We have to take life one day at a time. That is all we can handle. If something comes up, God will give us the strength to deal with it, but I am trying to remember to focus on the ‘today’, and thank Him for it.
Whatever the circumstance you face in this life, pray that God will take away the worry or the anxiety you may have. To quote that oh so familiar song, “He’s Got the Whole World, in His Hands”. He really does. Lay down all the things that plague your conscience – maybe its not feeling like you are good enough, or fear of being left or abandoned. Or maybe its a past sin that still haunts you. Lay it down. Put it in His hands. There is no better place to rest your worries or concerns. He is the Creator and Giver of Life – He is the Sustainer. Not a thing creeps or crawls without His knowledge. There is not a thought in your head that He doesn’t know (wow, now that is convicting, huh! 
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So, in this little circumstance that I have been facing, I remind myself as well, that I need to give Him Phryra Grace every day and trust that HE is sovereign and He is her Creator
So much has happened since June. So much to recap, so much to relate. If I pressed ‘rewind’, I could go back to where I left off and recount all the things that happened, in great detail. But, let’s just skip it.
For one, the job that was a blessing, became somewhat of a curse. The curse seemed to be more than difficult to escape. But God has always been our shelter in hardships, hasn’t He? I didn’t need to doubt. The months June to September seemed to drag on. We made it through another sweltering Texas summer – a feat that I always doubt we’ll be able to handle.
Haven and I made it to our 3rd anniversary. Marriage truly gets better and better with time, folks. And, after some contemplation and tough decision-making, I quietly quit my job. This came about perfectly. The day after our anniversary, I found out that I was pregnant. I saw something that I had been longing forever to see – two pink lines on a pregnancy test. And the nausea to prove it!
5 months have already progressed, same to say about my growing belly , and we are bounding into 2009 full force. Baby Bean is due June 1st, thankfully, before the hot summer spreads its thick heat.
There are still many longings we have, like moving back to the Northwest, but, this one, is certainly one of the biggest we have ever had.
When the Lord meets a longing of yours, remember to praise Him. He gave it to you, and you only should give it back to Him in thankfulness – all that we have been given belongs to Him. With what you have been given, then pray for a content heart, for it is not long before you are yearning for something again. A heart that yearns isn’t a bad thing. But yearn after Him. Pray that your heart longs after Him – first and foremost. And, pray that your soul that does not dwell in pools of anxious thought. Pray for a peaceful spirit. And remember to thank Him.
*You will have to excuse my writing style tonight – it is course and mediocre – my excitement has made it difficult to express more eloquently. And you must also excuse this little ‘break’ from a more ‘sermonette’ post. . . this is just a little piece of my life tonight
Life is SUCH an adventure. This is the understatement of the YEAR, of the CENTURY. . .
I sit here amazed and can’t quite take in the fact that life changed again, in the course of 24 little hours. One moment, I was sitting on my sorry butt, poking around the internet posting my resume in a hopeful attempt to get a job, and then, ‘plop!’ God dropped a job right in my lap, and all I had to do was send a positive email and get a flooding yes in return. WOW – God works amazing!
It was out of the blue, unexpected and just downright COOL to see how this came about, after a period of 2 months waiting for something to transpire.
I am still holding my breath, but don’t we always before something begins? Its like the moments after you just get engaged. You glow from your inside out with the love of your future spouse. A diamond is now wrapped around your finger and glitters every time you move your hand. You breathe in deep and wonder, ‘can this actually be real? Is this happening to me?’ It is, it is. Breath in deep and believe.
God is such a good God. I know that life is so hard to understand sometimes, but He brings us good things. My husband and I are in a trial of waiting for children, but He is bringing us blessing after blessing while we wait on Him. This wait would be futile if we did not trust that He is faithful. He always keeps His promises. His will is perfect and we trust it and hold to it. We do not know where this road is going, but we believe by faith, not by sight.
