I hate to admit this, but, if I didn’t I would be even more of a hypocrite.

Backsliding.

Well, what is it anyway? Picture yourself at the top of that trepidous mountain you just climbed. It took so long to get up there, but you stuck to it, patient to the finish, knowing that what you would accomplish when you got there would be . . . AMAZING. You get there. You delight in the glories all around you and then you rest a while. You go down – you aren’t paying attention, so you start to slip your way down again. You carelessly let go.

Spiritual negligence, for sure. I hit the high and then I tried to coast. *Coasting* is never enough, never good enough. Any of our efforts aren’t ever good enough for God when they are puffed with ourselves. We need some God filling in them.

I have been out of habit – prayer life, reading the Bible, trusting God, and the like have been taking back seat. And I easily blame it on the new situation of being a mom and not ‘having the time’. The problem is, I HAVE the time but I have been FAILING to use it. As a result, I am empty and broken and in full knowledge that I have put myself in this position.

So, back to square one. Help me up, Lord, for I have fallen into that miry pit. But, you have the power and the mercy to pull this pitiful soul out of the trash heap, and put a new song in her mouth. Amen. May I backslide no more.

I was going to post something about contentment, because that has been the current characteristic that I have been praying the most God would work in my impatient little heart. But, another thought popped into my brain and I wanted to start with that – loneliness.

Not that I am lonely right now, but I always seem to face mister lonely at some point in whatever place God has put me. When I was in college, I battled loneliness like it was my worst enemy. In fact, several times, I tried to beat it down in my own ways. Wrong ways, lets just say that much. When I did get married, my husband had to travel a lot with his job. Oh man, being a newlywed and being apart was a hard thing indeed. Loneliness hit yet again, and I tried to drown out that sad and familiar tune with writing and reading and a whole lot of moping.

It dawned on me, this past week, that I have been looking at and approaching loneliness in the wrong way, the world’s way. The world sees loneliness like its a horrible disease. It is something that one must get rid of, and you can do that in thus and such ways – online dating, hook-ups, alcohol, etc. Every one of these only acts as a crutch in the long-run, however, and a lonely people only ends up all the lonelier. The remedy is always Christ. The problem is always us, and how we look at things through our dirty lenses. Loneliness started in the garden of Eden. God created a man who needed a woman. He solved the ‘problem’ he created. And then man created a problem. A really big problem that would need perfect blood to fix.
When we feel lonely, we need to see this as just another way pointing to Christ. We seek relationships to fill the gap inside we feel. It is only natural to feel incomplete – we are on our own without God filling every crack and hole we have. Once we are filled with Him, we need to see ourselves as complete. This human ‘complete’ will still need, still struggle, still have pangs of loneliness. That is where we go back to the garden, where God blessed man with the gift of human relationship.
So, loneliness is not a mortal enemy. Let loneliness do what it is supposed to do, by letting the Holy Spirit draw you to Himself. Let Him then have every thought in your heart, every emotion that you feel, let it belong to Him. Let Him have your desires – the ones you have for relationships, for marriage, for fulfillment. Let Him deal completely with these things. He has the answers to the problems. Let the forlorn tune of loneliness fade to the joyous melody of Christ.